If only I could have a house like hers…
If only I was as thin as she is…
If I could just be in that group…
If I had as much money as them…
I would finally be confident.
I would have it all.
I would finally feel good about myself.
I could be in that group.
The list goes on and on, doesn’t it?
Man, are we hard on ourselves! So much of the time, we believe that our self-worth or our confidence will come from things outside of us – the house, the car, the beauty, the money, the clothes, the friends…But I have a question for you.
When was the last time you did something that scared you? When was the last time you did something that made you think, “Oh Lord. What am I doing?”
Before we move forward, I’m 100% NOT talking about doing anything that is harmful to you or anyone else.
I’m talking about the time your friends were gossiping about THAT person, and you said, “I actually kind of like her.” Or the time you had the guts to ask for that raise. Or the time you went to that workout class even though you had no idea what you were doing and you were embarrassed of how big your thighs were in those leggings. Or the time you finally stood up to that jerk. Or the time you said “no” when everyone just knew that you would take care of that project.
Now, think back to how that felt. I mean how did it feel after the fact – an hour or so later?
Did you just smile? I did. It was one of those kind of arrogant looking smiles that says, “oh yeh! i felt like a boss! Like I was Superwoman!”
That’s confidence my friends. That’s real and lasting confidence. It’s doing the things that make us uncomfortable and coming out on the other side. It’s getting butterflies and doing it anyway.
That’s it. It’s that simple.
Fear is the enemy of confidence. If you’re letting fear stop you because you’re not sure of the outcome, let go of that today. Fear is sucking the life out of you. It may even be causing you to lose sleep. But by doing the thing, the fear will go away. The outcome may not be what you’d hoped, but the fear will be gone. There is a finality to it. You’ll have the answer. You’ll now know the outcome. It’s over.
Confidence can grow like an oak tree. The more you water it, the bigger and stronger it gets. But fear is is like a fungus. It will rot that tree from the inside out.
You can have all the money, beauty, brains and friends in the world, but if you aren’t doing the hard things, the things that scare you, you’ll never be the person you’re searching for.
So I challenge you. This week do something that scares you. Do something that makes you nervous. Sit back. Revel in that feeling and know that you ARE Superwoman. Then give that tree some water again, and again, and again.